One for all
by Yessica-N
Summary: Having destructive coping mechanisms is one thing. Keeping them a secret from your brothers, something else entirely. (Part 2 of "Hey, wasn't our exit 10 miles ago?")


**An anon on tumblr requested about what would happen should their brothers find out about Oso and Kara's destructive habits... I think that if I want to write about that, it should be a multi-chapter story, so for the time being, have these two little snippets instead.**

 **Warnings: Mentions of drug use and self-harm.**

* * *

 **Karamatsu**

"What the hell is this?"

Any sarcastic responses stick to the back of Karamatsu's throat, choking him. Osomatsu is looking at him with an anger in his eyes that he usually reserves for people who unapologetically threaten the well-being of his little brothers.

On the empty table between them is a small bag of white powder.

He swallows, tries to not make his voice sound as if it's breaking. "Where did you find that?"

His eyes are glued to the drugs, frantically. He jumps when his brother slams his hand down on the table hard.

"That doesn't matter right now." Osomatsu's voice sounds high-pitched. Unstable. He sits down across from Karamatsu with a heavy sigh. "It just... I need to know if you're using again."

His mouth is dry and he can feel his heart beating fast, blood running cold in his veins. " _Brother_ -" He tries, but Osomatsu silences him with a look.

"Show me." The elder demands, laying his hand down on the table expectantly, palm up.

Karamatsu doesn't want to. Doesn't want to see the obvious disappointment in his older brother's eyes when he sees the marks. Small dots of red against pale skin.

He cradles his arm closer to his body instinctively, and Osomatsu frowns. "You are, aren't you?"

Lying is terrible, but so is telling the truth, so he stays silent, staring at the palm on the table as if it could somehow hold out the solution to all his problems.

"It's only for emergencies." He mumbles eventually, when his brother's stare feels like it could burn a hole straight into his soul and the bile starts rising in his throat.

Osomatsu makes a sound. Something angry and incredulous, but also worried, and that notion makes Karamatsu clench tighter. W _hy does he always make everything worse_?

"Damn it, Kara, I thought-" The sound dies down instantly when the door slides open.

Jyushimatsu is standing in the opening to the room, ever-present grin on his face, his baseball bat hanging limply in one hand.

But there is an edge of confusion to his smile, eyes sliding from one of them to the other in a questioning glance. "Osomatsu-nii-san? What's wrong? Why are you angry at Karamatsu-nii-san?"

Karamatsu blinks. He wants to say something, but before he can even begin to catch up Osomatsu is already talking.

"It's nothing important." He smiles, gliding his hand over the wooden surface of the table easily. The drugs are gone, presumably slipped into his pocket in the blink of an eye. "How was baseball, Jyushi?"

Jyushimatsu doesn't say anything, just stares at them some more. Karamatsu can feel sweat sliding down the back of his neck uncomfortably, hands clasped tight to not give away their trembling.

The next instant, Jyushimatsu is bounding into the room, loudly gushing about how great it was and something else that Karamatsu doesn't hear over the ringing of relief in his ears.

He hadn't realized he was holding his breath the entire time, until he lets out the air, smiling shakily once more.

"Karamatsu-nii-san, Karamatsu-nii-san!" Jyushimatsu is in front of him, balancing on one foot and swinging his bat from side to side idly.

"Yes, my little Jyushimatsu?" And he's slightly proud of how steady his voice sounds.

"You look pale. Are you sick?" Worried eyes look down at him, somehow only serving to make him feel worse.

"Do not worry, _brother_. I am merely in need of some fresh air." He sweeps one hand across his brow dramatically, lips automatically pulling up in a confident smirk that he doesn't feel in his heart. "I think I shall go up to the roof for a bit."

Jyushimatsu bounces on the spot excitingly, almost knocking over the TV with his careless swinging. "Ah, ah, can I come, Nii-san? Can we write some more songs together?"

"Of course." Karamatsu is glad that his legs decide to support him when he gets up from his seated position. He shoves his hands into his pockets quickly to hide their shaking.

Osomatsu watches them leave the room, eyes dark. Karamatsu glances at him awkwardly, but one look at his brother's face is enough to tell that this conversation is far from over.

* * *

 **Osomatsu**

"It's hot. Why is it so hot?" Todomatsu is lying on the floor, rolling from side to side in front of the fan, pouting as he complains.

His other brothers are in similar disheveled fashion, the heat positively burning all traces of energetic enthusiasm out of them. And the Matsuno sextuplet are already pretty lazy to begin with.

Nobody answers, making Totty huff at them angrily as he checks his phone again.

Then, with an excited little sound, he's on his knees. "Hey, how about we go to the beach?"

There are various incoherent grumbles in response, and Todomatsu is fairly sure nobody properly heard him. He kicks the nearest brother in the shin, which happens to be Choromatsu.

"We should go to the beach." He whines, hitting his older brother repeatedly until he gets the attention he deserves.

Choromatsu lowers the magazine he was only half-reading, brain practically melted in the current heatwave, and blinks. "That's... actually a very good idea."

Todomatsu is already peeling himself off the floor excitingly, digging in one particularly messy corner of the room to drag out the bag he usually takes with him to the gym.

"Are you guys coming?" the youngest asks over his shoulder, almost half-way out of the door already.

Choromatsu is right behind him, and Jyushimatsu had jumped up at the first mention of them going out, producing a brightly colored beach ball out of seemingly nowhere, in that nonsensical way only the fifth born could.

Even Ichimatsu, who seems the least bothered by the current temperatures, starts getting up slowly, the cat he smuggled into the house that day jumping out of his lap with an irritated hiss and heading to the nearest open window.

Karamatsu starts to follow suit, when he is stopped in his tracks.

Their oldest brother is still sitting near the table, fidgeting with the edges of his sleeves in what almost would be called a nervous fashion.

Those sleeves.

Despite the nearly tropic weather, Osomatsu was stubbornly wearing his hoody, looking ridiculous paired with his short pants and bare feet.

Totty had remarked how their oldest brother better not be adopting Karamatsu's painful sense of fashion.

Osomatsu had laughed, rubbing a finger beneath his nose in what might be habit, or might be a forced tic, but hadn't actually answered the question.

How does he explain that it had been a bad day. A bad day that had slowly developed into a bad week, which now threatened to spill over into a bad month.

Wearing long sleeves was the only way to conceal the myriad of cuts and tears adorning his arms right now, fresh and open and still too visible to risk exposure.

"I'm just not really feeling it. Maybe I'll just take a nap." He faked a convincing yawn, rolling onto his back with his head resting on his palms.

The three youngest are already half-way down the stairs, Jyushi's excited laughter and Ichi's quiet mumbling barely audible anymore.

But Choromatsu lingers in the doorway, one hand resting on the frame as he narrows his eyes at his eldest brother.

There is something in that gaze. Curiosity. Anxiousness. Suspicion.

Karamatsu plops back to the floor loudly, putting a hand on his chin thoughtfully. "I think I'll stay too." He says quickly.

Choromatsu's attention is successfully diverted, as the skepticism in his face changes to pure confusion. "You too?"

"Alas. All those beautiful Karamatsu girls on the beach shall have to do without me." He laughs, making his brother frown at him.

Choromatsu opens his mouth, but a cry from downstairs interrupts him.

"Nii-san, we're leaving without you!" Todomatsu threatens, annoyance slipping into his voice, and Choromatsu hurries to catch up, throwing one last look over his shoulder as he leaves.

Once the front door slams behind him, Karamatsu lets out a relieved sigh. He sits back, watching as Osomatsu picks at the wounds on his inner arm, making them bleed again.

Neither says anything.

* * *

 **I have never really written the other brothers before, so I hope I didn't fail their characterization too badly...**


End file.
